Frustration

Ehhhh Not even the middle of the school year and I'm already frustrated with math. The number dont make sense, the solutions dont make sense, NOTHING MAKES SENSE!! This journey to return to the point where math made sense is proving to be very difficuly, College in general is proving to be very difficult, but thats a totally different topic all together. Getting tot he point of this frustration blog, I'd like to talk about bases. BASES what a difficult topic (not that they all arent to me) but I've never even heard bases. The worksheet was handed to me and my mind went completely blank and I found myslef asking for help on every problem. *sigh* I felt soooo....unintelligent, like I would never figure it out.Every time I thought I was getting the hang of it I would move on to the next problem and I would have to ask for help again, which totally FRUSTRATED me. It's like why isn't this making sense? I hate asking for help, It makes me feel as if I need a crutch or something. I don't know how to explain it and I know if I tried I would be here all night trying to. Anyway I'm still going to continue on my journey to making math click. Obviously it wont be as easy as I thought. Super frustrated but still continuing on. : /

Mathophobe? Mathophobia??!

    I walked into class today and was suprised when Ms. DelTreste said, "There is a quiz today" The familiar panic washed over me and I thought to myself we've only been in this class once! anxiety rushed in as she handed out the papers and said" Leave them face down and flip then when I say so". I watched as she passed papers out to everyone wondering what this quiz could be on. Maybe review? A refresher? whatever it was I just knew I wasn't prepared.
    
    It was time to flip the papers and as soon as I flipped mine and scanned the front for any sign of numbers or variables a cool sense of relief washed over me as I realized it was a test to see if we were afraid of math!
I circled my letters quickly, and tallied my score, with 30 being the highest amount of points and 10 being the lowest, I scored  kind of low with a 18. After finishing the "quiz" I read a paper which had been placed on my desk. The title read "Symptoms of Math Anxiety", as I started reading I realized that I was this person in the article! which didnt surprise me, I've hated math ever since I can remember. (numbers and letters just shouldn't mix!)

    I guess you can consider me a mathophobe. It's not as if I don't try; this stuff just doesn't click for me. I will continue to try because there was one point when the math did make sense, I'm just trying to get back to that point. So, yeah I'm a mathophobe, but a recovering one :)